Monday 15 July 2013

Generation 5: Chapter five (Part one)

Forgiveness is a three syllable word, and though it's pretty easy to pronounce, it's not that easy to bestow upon another. Giving out candy on Halloween? No problem, it was a whole part of the tradition. But forgiving someone when they hurt you deeply...that was another thing entirely. Forgiving someone was never my strong point, nor was it holding grudges. Even though a lot of time would pass and the whole thing would be forgotten by everyone else, I would still remember. I may not have such strong antagonism towards them anymore, but I would still remember the words they used, their attitude, and anything else that was hostile and hurtful. It was and would remain a big deal to me.

Like I said, grudges were never my strong suit, and after a major amount of begging and apologies from Cara, I slowly rebuilt a friendly relationship with her. In her mind, nothing had happened, and we were back to being best friends, without having talked it out like grown-ups. We probably never would, but hey, that was Cara.

Things were going so well, that when the first semester ended and we had a few weeks break, she dragged me into her plans of heading to Bridgeport with a few friends, and when I say a few friends, I mean guys, like Devin and a friend of his named Theo. She kept her mouth shut about the fact that Devin and I were, well, having a fling of some sort I guess, but it was obvious it still bugged her. At least the prospect of him bringing along another male friend that was attractive perked her up again.
“Helloooo, is anyone home?” a hand waved frantically in front of my face, interrupting my daydream and bringing me back to reality. Reality was, I was standing in Bridgeport alongside Cara while we were taking a small tour of Bridgeport, something she loved to do when she got to a city. Even though she knew Bridgeport like the palm of her hand, she still insisted we go out for a walk.

I cleared my throat before answering. “Uh, yeah, I was just thinking.”

“There’s plenty of time to think when we go back to school, so to speak. So just forget about your troubles and soak in the awesome view of the city for a moment.” For once, I followed the advice of girl-with-the-crazy-purple-hair and took a breath, observing the little details of the city, like the way the clouds were converging, the lights atop some of the skyscrapers…horrible traffic and pollution aside, the city was something unique. I couldn’t see myself living in a city, ever, but it was great to see how other people coped.

To a girl that lived out in the country, the city life was completely foreign. I was kind of used to it, though, thanks to my multiple trips here with the girl that stood beside me at that moment.

“Okay, enough wasting time, let’s go check in and then head off to go party like only the people in Bridgeport know how.”

“Eh, I wish I could.” That was a lie, but she didn’t know that. “I have to go meet up with someone. It’s for a project I was assigned to right before the end of the semester.”

Cara’s face went blank. “You’re kidding me, right? They’re letting you work in the holidays? Damn, those people are insane. And you’re insane for sticking with the program, too.”

“That’s because I don’t want to fail, not like other people I know,” I pointed out and started taking a few steps towards the pavement. “I’ll meet up with you peeps later, okay?”

“Fine!” she called over as I turned my back on her. “It’s your loss!”

Chuckling at just how silly that girl was, I continued to walk down the road, looking for the place that I had agreed to meet this famous person at, and sincerely hoping that I wasn’t lost.
Okay, I was definitely lost. Bridgeport was huge, and there weren’t any landmarks that helped with navigation. Well, there were buildings and that, but they all looked the same, making my job at finding the right place ten times more difficult.

I never quite knew where the line “one of these things is not like the other” would be applicable, however, when I was standing in front of a building that was a tad shorter than the rest of the skyscrapers and had an array of different colors in its exterior, it was clear that this was the home of artists – in other words, the music hall, the place I had been searching for.

Coming to Bridgeport wasn’t just some trip where we’d go shopping, go to clubs, get drunk and wake up with a hangover the next morning. When I agreed to this trip, I had an ulterior motive. See, even though we were on break, the work never stopped. My next project was situated in Bridgeport. Given, it was for extra credit and only applied to me, a music student, but it was still something to worry about. Claremont University had recognized (finally) that they had been sort of discriminating against the students who wanted to focus on music (i.e., me), and were in the process of creating opportunities to make up for that. This was one such an opportunity. I had an interview scheduled with a famous singer of Bridgeport, who went by the name of “Daisy”. Why is this such a fascinating thing, some might ask? She started out as a street artist and had earned my respect a long time ago. Musicians had a hard life, and though she was a singer and not exactly an expert on my line of work, I felt like I had to meet her, to see what kind of future lay ahead for me.

Around ten minutes later, a car pulled up (an expensive looking one at that), complete with a driver that was escorting the person inside. It was at that moment that I realized I could be dealing with some hotshot celebrity with an inflated ego that would most likely look down on me because I was just a student, a nobody…
But the moment Daisy stepped out of the car, she waved over at me with a big smile on her face, and politely instructed her driver that’d she’d call him when she needed to be picked up. This wasn’t exactly what I was expecting from her when I saw the fancy car.

“Hi, you must be Krissy, I’m hoping,” the tall woman with brown hair that surrounded her face extended a hand to me, “I’m Daisy, pleased to meet you.”
“E-eh, yeah, that’s me,” I shook her hand, cursing myself in my mind for stuttering. Dammit, now I started off terribly. Not the way you want to go when standing in the presence of greatness, so to speak. “Thank you for taking the time to meet with me.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble at all. When your lecturer, Miss Huckleberry, called me to ask if I have some time to show the ropes of showbiz to a student, I was quite excited to be handed such a task.”

“You’re serious?” I held back a chuckle. This was too good to be true. “I didn’t know that big time performers would have time at all for anything else but their career.”

“That’s true for most people,” she nodded thoughtfully, “but I’m not most people. I always take some time to get away from all the press and stress that goes along with this job. It’s important to remember your roots once you’ve made the headlines. My English teacher in high school taught me that we had to remain humble, even when we received high marks. That bit of wisdom has stayed with me through the years. I find it hard to understand why more people don’t try to help other aspiring stars. I mean, I got this opportunity because someone else saw my talent and gave me this chance. Why, oh why, can’t we do the same…which is kind of what I’m doing here, today, Krissy. I’m here to show you how many musicians make a living these days. Why did you think I asked to meet you here in front of the music hall?”

Scratching my neck, I took a second to think it over, only to come up blank. “Honestly, I dunno.”

She smiled slyly. “Because I needed access to a whole collection of instruments. You play the piano, right?”

“And the guitar, but I love the piano the most, I guess.”

“That’s fantastic.” Why she’d be excited over the fact that I played piano was beyond me, but as she motioned towards a worker inside the building, and as that individual brought out an electronic keyboard, things started to fall in place. “You’re going to join me in creating a small show, right here, right now.”
Stage fright was a performer’s worst enemy, and you can guess who had it: I did. While there wasn’t exactly a real life stage where a lot of people would be watching – it was just past 9 AM, and it was a well-known fact the people of Bridgeport liked to sleep in a little late – I still had it. Just another thing I can thank Cara for, shielding me all those years and shaping me into a scared little adult. But I couldn’t blame her for everything. It was partly my parents who had a nurturing nature, and didn’t want to see their adopted daughter grow up just yet. So, most of my life, I had been dependent upon them, making who I am today.

There was another reason for be slightly afraid of performing a song out in the open: I was going to perform with a celebrity, which was one of the best opportunities I could get as a student, and I didn’t want to screw it up. Talk about a lot of pressure riding on these two shoulders. 

It was as if Daisy could read my mind, or maybe she was just really good at reading people, as it wasn’t as if I was hiding my fear from appearing on my face. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. Just focus on your music and enjoy yourself."

And so I did. After taking a deep breath, I let my fingers rest on the keys, and with practiced ease, I started playing, losing myself in the music. Slowly but surely, my confidence started to build up. I found that I could focus on something other than just my piano. Only now I noticed the sweet sound of Daisy’s voice that mixed well with the sound emanating from the piano. She had never asked me to play a specific song, or even one of her own songs, something to which she could sing along to. What I saw here and now was what made Daisy the great artist that she was. She had the ability to sing what was on her mind, and sing from her heart. Whatever tune you played, she found a lyric that matched it.


The last note lingered in the air, and I wished that the moment would never end. It was both an interesting experience.  Maybe I was being weird saying that, but that’s how I experienced it. It was so fascinating to me, because I had solely focused on my own business in the past, forgetting the fact that to reach a true harmonic sound, I had to pay attention to the rest of the group. Well, I could blame the university for that; I never had anyone else to practice with, so that skill never really developed.

“You must have friends waiting for you?” Daisy made it sound like a question as she helped an attendant pack away some of the musical equipment.

“Yeah…,” I shrugged, “not really looking forward to it, they’re probably just going to dance all night, get drunk and pass out. That’s pretty what they came here for.”

“You’re still young, you have to enjoy life, even be a bit reckless.” She paused, and her eyes seemed almost apologetic. “I’m sorry, this wasn’t much, but I really didn’t know what the university was expecting I should teach you, so I just…improvised.”

“No, no, it was…great. You actually showed me I’m a selfish musician, in a sense.”
“Why would you say that?”

Out of habit, I scratched my nose, something I always did when I was searching for the right words. “I’ve never played in a group or a band even, so I’m always focusing so hard on making my music perfect, forgetting that I have to focus on the rest of the group too. I think I can use that skill in the future, when I find the right career maybe.”

She chuckled. “If you’re happy with what I showed you today, well, there’s no reason for me to complain. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to meet my fiancĂ© here as well…”

“Oh, my bad,” I stepped aside as she started for the music hall’s entrance. “Goodbye and thanks for your time!” I called after her, just in time to see her wave as she stepped through the spiral door. 

Now that this part of the day’s activities was done, it was time to meet up with Cara again, and brace myself for an evening of wild dancing and loud music - which was exactly not what I needed.
Just after a quick phone call to Cara and a taxi ride to city hall to meet up with her again, she instructed the driver to take us to a nice hotel. With her credit card in her hand, Cara tried to book us the most expensive and luxurious hotel room she could find that hadn’t already been taken. Sadly, there weren’t a lot of spots open, and we got one of the less glamorous rooms, but it still had a nice view of the ocean, and quite theatrically, my best friend paraded around, identifying each building that she knew. Later on, she called me closer. “Look over there,” she pointed with a finger nail at a building that was a bit different than the rest. “That’s the club we’re going to in a few hours.”

Those few hours passed too quickly for comfort, and soon I found myself being dragged along against my will.

We passed through the glass doors, with the bouncer giving a gruff confirmation that we could go in. Of course we could, Cara had a pass for every private club, no matter what kind of restriction they had in place. That was the nice thing of having a dad with big pockets and a notebook full of contacts. Devin was there already, waiting with a huge smile on his face. “About time you two get here.”

“Sorry, I struggled to get this one,” Cara tilted her head towards me, “to come with me willingly.”

“Correction: I have not come willingly. I came here under threat of my impending demise if I didn’t come along.”

“She’s imagining things,” she poked my nose, a warning for me to stop talking. “So, where’s this friend of yours that you brought along?”

“Oh, he’s right over there,” Devin started gesturing behind him,” on the dance floor with those two lovely ladies. Apparently the red head and the other girl came all the way here from Evansdale County. They’re all for having a great party, and they came here to find one…you’ll have to put on your charms to get him away from those two.”

“Not to worry,” she stepped past us, rubbing her hands in anticipation, “I am excellent at being charming, if I do say so myself.”

This whole conversation was just not interesting to me at all, so I excused myself and headed to a place that wasn’t buzzing with people. At that point, the bar was empty, except for the attending bartender, which was a welcoming sight. There’s nothing like a good drink to help smooth those nerves. But there’s always someone that has to come and just ruin a good moment for you. Tonight, that person was Devin. Why couldn’t anyone see that I didn’t want to party and just wanted to be left alone?
“I’d like whatever drink you recommend as,” Devin lowered his voice as he took his seat, “a love potion,” he wiggled his eyebrows at me as he spoke. In your dreams, mister, was all I thought, but decided against speaking my mind.

The bartender seemed pleased with this order. “I have the perfect recipe in mind for that. Hold on just a sec while I mix it up.”

“No sweat,” Devin jerked his chin, grinning in my direction as we both observed the bartender mixing together the contents of several different bottles together into one drink. The end result was a bit different than I was expecting, and Devin was presented with a glass that fizzed with a pink liquid. Not quite a drink that fit Devin’s macho-man complex. “This is one sick joke…,” he grumbled under his breath.

"You are currently my favorite person on this planet right now," I said to the bartender, trying very hard not to laugh so much that I would fall off my chair.

"Oh yeah?" he flashed a smile. "And what would you, the lovely lady, like to have to drink tonight?" 

“Barely concealed flirtation,” Devin coughed beside me. I chose to ignore his statement. Was it just me, or did he actually feel insulted that the bartending was kind of flirting with me? Like…some sort of jealousy on his part? Wow. Never would I have thought that Devin Jameson would be jealous of another man, like ever.

“What do you have in mind?” I leaned forward, feigning interest in him. The agitation on Devin’s face became even more prominent, and he literally jumped off his chair.

“Let’s chat for a second, shall we?” he whispered by my ear and pulled me towards a quiet corner.
“What? What did I do wrong this time?”

“Nothing…,” he sighed. “I just can’t stand seeing you…the bartender…the flirts…it’s just torturing me, okay? It’s torture.”

“You have no reason to feel that way…unless…” I left the sentence open-ended, trying to figure out what he was trying to imply.

“Unless…unless I feel something for you, which I do.”

It took me a full five seconds to comprehend what he said. “What?”

“I like you, Krissy,” he shook his head, “and it’s driving me insane. You drive me insane, in a good way though. You say no to one night stands, you know what you want out of life…do you know that you’re the first girl I’ve met that’s like that? You intrigue me in so many ways, it’s fascinating, really. And I want to be able to break beyond the barrier that you’ve surrounded yourself with, to be able to hug you and… Krissy, I think I’d like you to go out with me. Like, a girlfriend, maybe, to have a real relationship with you.”

Again, the feeling of utter shock and disbelief filled my mind. Was this actual honesty and compassion coming from a guy who’s lied so much he probably didn’t know how to tell the truth anymore, and who I thought to have no heart and only cared for his own needs? I really didn’t know what to make of it, but to submit myself to him and just fall into his arms and say yes was out of the question. This situation called for being careful and analytic  At any moment, he could flip back to his old attitude, and I would get hurt. I just wasn’t ready for that.

“How about we work our way toward that, huh?” I asked, trying my best to keep my voice steady. It felt like I was lying -unintentionally, of course, but lying nonetheless.

Though Devin didn’t take it that way, and nodded, looking quite smug. “I think I can live with that for now.” I felt his hand softly gripping my side, as if to pull me closer for a kiss. He hesitated, and took a step away from me. “You hear that song? That’s my jam! Let me show you how smooth my dance moves are. Don’t worry; it’s not gonna be another disaster like that stunt I pulled with the guitar a while back.” Playfully swinging his hips, he took me by the hand and pulled me towards the dance floor. Not the place packed with Cara and Devin’s friend, Theo, but towards the stage, where no one else was dancing. It was just me and him.
It was surprising, even to me, that I could possibly have any sort of fun that night, but in Devin’s company, with him close by, moving his hips to the beat of the music, it was hard not to burst out laughing and enjoy myself.

Every now and then, it was good to just let yourself go and show who you really are.

Devin might not be the most perfect person, but he had a way of making me feel comfortable, of making me feel like I could do anything, without having a care in the world of what the repercussions were.

In that moment, everything was perfect.
~*~
“Dude,” Theo held up an empty palm, expecting me to hand him a beer, an act that was like a tradition to us. He might have been so drunk he couldn’t form coherent sentences anymore, but he always wanted one last beer to push him over the edge into unconsciousness. Tonight, things were going to go down a lot differently than usual. I needed Theo to be sober enough to have a conversation. Tonight, I needed a friend to talk to.

“Shut up and listen to me, okay,” I barked at him as I took my seat. “I need your advice.”

“Nooooo,” he wailed, stretching an arm out. “Beer first.”

“Theo, I need you… Just, tell me, what do you think about Krissy?”

The topic of woman seemed to give him a reason to sit up. “I think she’s hot.”

“I mean, like, as a girlfriend or something like that…”

The way his eyes suddenly widened and the frown that situated itself between his brows told me that wasn’t what he was expecting to hear from me. “Where is my friend Devin and what the fuck did you do to him?”

Laughing half-heartedly, I simply shrugged. “What are you talking about, bro?”

“Like…” He was silent for a moment. “Are you falling for this girl? Seriously? You want to give up your awesome lifestyle filled with great parties and lots of girls for you to choose from…for that chick?”
I nearly didn’t answer. “She’s different than the rest… She sees the world in a whole different light than most people. I think she’s...I don’t know, maybe she’s the girl that could make me into a better man, something like that, you know?”

“No, I don’t,” he answered quickly. “Come on, dude, that stuff only happens in chick flicks. You’re living the best life possible for a guy, getting all the girls. Trust me, all the guys on campus may look like they hate you, but at the end of the day, they still wish they were you. Why the hell would give that up on one, stupid girl?”

“Don’t talk that way about her. She’s special to me. So shut your trap before I shut it for you.”

Theo threw his hands up in mock horror. “Oh, I’m so scared; the big bad man is going to beat me up.”

I was on the verge of losing it and almost aimed a punch at his face, but I understood his doubt in me. To euphemise it, I was a guy that liked attention from the opposite gender. Maybe I enjoyed toying with their emotions too, I really didn’t know. This whole choice of mine to be a Ladies’ man was something that happened by accident one night at a bar, when three girls had been swooning around me, and it was impossible to say no to any of them. So maybe Theo had a point, that it was a crazy idea of me to want to suddenly change given years of such behavior. 
It was so quiet all of a sudden that I thought Theo had fallen asleep, but he was sitting upright, and took a deep breath before he started talking again. “Look man, if you feel so strongly about this girl…then nothing I can say will change that. I’m your friend, and I’m supposed to support you, so…go get your girl. I’ll be happy with whatever decision you make.”

Someone else responded before I even could. “That’s nice of you to say, Theo,” Cara commented. “Sorry to just drop by without knocking, but I wanted to talk to Devin – privately if you don’t mind.”

A shrug from Theo meant that he didn’t mind the intrusion or me leaving. He was probably going to take a nap anyhow, so, even though I was rather startled to see Cara here and not Krissy, I followed her down the hall and into my room without further questioning. As Krissy’s best friend, maybe she wanted to give me a speech about how to treat her friend with respect and all that jazz.
After I took a step into the room, I expected to see Cara sit down and start talking immediately about what a bad person I was and whatnot. Things went down a lot different than I had been thinking. With a flick of her finger, she locked the door behind us. Okay, that could still be considered normal; she wanted privacy from Theo and his habit of poking his head into places where it didn’t belong. But what was definitely not normal, was Cara launching herself at me, her lips pressed up against mine and her hands and nails digging into my back, forcing my body close to hers.

“Don’t overthink this,” she whispered as she pulled away.

“Wh-what are you doing?” I pushed her arm away as she tried to unbutton my pants. What had gotten into this girl’s mind? She was Krissy’s best friend, and she knew I liked her and that we were together. Why would she go behind her friend’s back like this?

“Devin, I told you to not overthink this,” she simply stated. “You’re a player, that’s who you are. And what would a player do in such a situation where a girl throws herself at a man like this?”

Okay, when you say to someone to not do something of course they’re gonna do it. My mind was reeling from what she meant. Just a few minutes earlier, I had an epiphany and had vowed to change myself into a better man. But with Cara here, posing such a question to me, I realized that I enjoyed the way I lived my life. I enjoyed the attention from girls, to be worshipped almost. It was some sort of God-complex that I had…and I loved every moment of it.

Then again, the image of Krissy crept into my mind, and I knew what I felt for her and that I’d feel guilty if I lost her. However, what she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her, and who would say no to one last indulgence before saying goodbye to it forever?
“To answer your question,” I whispered darkly as I took her by the hands and led her to the bed, “a player would take advantage of every opportunity that presented itself.”
~*~
There was that nagging feeling at the back of my mind, like the feeling you had when you knew you forgot something but you couldn’t remember what it was, no matter how hard you tried. This…this was a tad different. Almost like a sixth sense telling you that something was out of place, that things just weren’t right.

How could I get rid of that feeling when it was taking over my entire system?

Everything was eerily quiet, but that could all be attributed to Theo lying sprawled across the couch, taking a well-deserved nap after he had partied hard. Still…even though he was unconscious for now, I expected Devin to be in the lounge watching TV, or busying him in the kitchen. There was no sign that he had been there recently.

Again, my senses spiked, all pointing to the door that stood closed – completely unorthodox for these boys, as they had nothing to hide from each other, and were too lazy to do so even if they had. There was something going on behind that door that had me on edge, something that I probably didn’t want to know, and yet, I had to. It was the only way to get rid of this nagging doubt I had.

While my hands hovered above the door knob, visibly shaking, sounds were coming from within, and I swore that I could hear someone giggle. The laugh was all too familiar to me, because I’ve heard it more than a thousand times before. It belonged to Cara. What the hell was my best friend doing here while she promised she would make a beer run? Sure as hell, I would find out why.
People would think that someone would have thought to lock the door if they truly had a secret to hide. It was just my luck that the knob twisted with no obstruction, and the door cracked open, hardly making a sound, leaving me to see exactly what kind of people my friends really were.

You know that saying when there’s this real dramatic moment in your life, time just slows down and a few seconds feels like an eternity? Well, that was complete bullshit. There was no sign of time slowing down to give my mind time to accept that what I was seeing was real, or the implications of it all. All I was aware of was that I was blinking rapidly, my mouth slightly open in awe. On a good day, I could think of a thousand things to say, or an explanation for it, but in that moment, only one thought stuck with me.

Cara had slept with the guy that was now my boyfriend.

“Hey, have you seen my dress?” Cara giggled, casually peeking around the side of the bed to search for her missing clothes. They were seemingly oblivious to my entrance and to the fact that I was standing right there, having realized what had just happened. With my fists clenched, I resisted the urge to just throw a punch. I had been biting down on my lip, trying to hold back the tears…but that was a battle that had been lost long before it even started. Tears were rolling down my cheeks with no way to stop them.

“It’s r-right there, on the chair in the corner,” I finally croaked. My best friend turned to face me, her face blank, with the shock taking its time to manifest itself fully.
“It’s not what-“

I stopped her before she could complete her lame excuse that everyone always uses in such a situation. “No, spare me your shitty excuse and shut the hell up. It is what it looks like. You, my supposed best friend, are a slut, because you have to get with every guy you see, even if you have to go behind my back. You have no sense of self control when it comes to men, and I must have been insane to call you my friend because you are a complete and utter moron, and I don’t care if I sound like a mean bitch, but I’m sick of keeping my mouth shut.” In the background, Devin sighed, while keeping his gaze far away from me. Maybe he found my yelling a bit too dramatic, but at this point, did I really care about what he was thinking? “And you, Mister Casanova, you were the one who said you were different than all the stories people were spreading. Well guess what? You’re not. And your whole role in this doesn’t even bother me, because I was expecting this from you. So you know what, go back to screwing each other, and have a nice life.”

“Krissy!” Cara yelled as I slammed the door behind me, raced for the elevator and struggled to keep my composure as I made my way to the hotel room I shared with Cara. It would be a while before she’d be back, so I didn’t worry about that too much, but by the time she’d return, I’d be long gone.
This was the second time I’d walked out on Cara, though it was for a good reason. God, why did have to happen to me? Couldn’t I have a normal life, with normal situations and normal friends? Thinking about it too much hurt, but what else was there to think about? The entire time I was walking, the image of my best friend’s face was haunting me, and little by little, I felt the weight on my chest increase, making it ever so slightly harder to breath.  

Once inside the hotel room, the quietness I had experienced in the guy’s suite resonated once again, but this time I welcomed it, and literally fell into my room, seeking the wall for support.

Finally, I could cry as hard as I wanted to. Cry because I had lost a friend. Cry because I realized that maybe I never had a friend from the start. Cry because I had been lied to. Cry because people were stupid and humanity was doomed…Whatever reason there was to cry, I found it. Soon I found myself sliding down against the wall, curled up into a ball and rocking back and forth, praying that this child-like behavior of mine would stop. It was somewhat comforting, to no longer hold onto emotions that were buried deep, but there was a good reason to keep them buried. It just hurt too badly to feel them again.

How much time passed, I would never know, but sooner or later, Cara would show up being all apologetic and throwing her lies into the open expecting that it would make things better again. No, it won’t, and it never will. She made a conscious decision, Devin made a conscious decision, and now, I would make the conscious decision to hightail it out of there and never look back.
When I packed for this trip to Bridgeport, I brought nothing but a small, red backpack with a few pieces of clothing in it and the clothes on my back. At the time, it looked like a silly idea, and would probably have ended in me buying extra clothes. Now, it provided me with an easy escape from this place, a place that now held bad memories.

I no longer had any sort of attachment to Bridgeport, and had no reason to stay. Armed with this knowledge, I wandered aimlessly in the streets until I reached a familiar point which was the bus stop. Out of everything in that city, the bus stop was the only place I could remember in detail.

The chances of a bus stopping so early in the morning would usually be minuscule  I must have been lucky, because I didn’t wait too long before a bus pulled up, and the driver called from within. “You look like you need a ride somewhere.”

“Does this bus go as far as Appaloosa Plains?” I asked hopefully.

“No,” he shook his head, and my hope faltered, but he quickly spoke again, “but I can get you close to it.”

“That’s good enough for me.” It truly was as I climbed aboard and took a seat close to a window. As the scenery started to pass with an increasing speed, I didn’t take the liberty to look at how beautiful things were at sunrise. My eyes were focused on what was right in front of me.

And never once did I look back.