Two years had passed since the day we departed from France, and in that time, a surprising amount of changes had occurred. Jack had begrudgingly joined Sam in the Air Force, and his entire attitude had experienced a turn around. He was still the same Jack we knew and hated, but the small changes were important. For one, he quit smoking, and apparently, he was a little bit more respectful towards Samantha. After all, she was a higher rank than he was. Jack was only at the rank of lieutenant, but he was already being recommended for a promotion.
Things between Darcy and Mitchell were...interesting, to say the least. They were definitely more than friends, but Darcy didn't care to label what their status was. Though they had both returned to Bridgeport, Mitchell had gone back a month later to continue his studies.
It could be debated whether or not my life could be considered as "cool" as theirs. I had been allowed to explore tombs with other archaeologists in Egypt, uncovering some art pieces that held much value. Returning with some of those pieces, the art gallery had suddenly taken a interest in my work, and offered me a part-time job, to upgrade the museum, that wouldn't mess with my archaeology career. I accepted the task a month later, and slowly started renovating some of the exhibits.
The reason for accepting the job was clear: I wanted to do it in the memory of Sarah and the work she had accomplished at the art gallery in Paris. However, she never told me just how hard the job was.
"Daniel, you should be celebrating with a glass of wine!" Darcy chimed in the background as I stood in front of closed boxes, all waiting to be unpacked. A task that should have been completed by other workers, who had failed to show up.
"The new exhibits are opening tonight, and it's all thanks to your hard work. You changed this gallery, and might I add, for the better. This place...is a real dump. I mean, I can even paint better than the crap they have on these walls."
"Not now, Darcy...," I muttered, observing the mess in front of me. It would take hours to unpack and sort everything. I just didn't have the strength for it.
|
Your writing is amazing, one of the best stories I've ever read.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this chapter, great job :)
Thank you for commenting, Kurtis. :D
DeleteIn my opinion, your writing is great, just like this chapter. : D
ReplyDeletePoor Vala.
-al
Yes, indeed, Vala has suffered the consequences of her lifestyle choice. >.>
DeleteThanks for commenting!
Oh, and I must add that I LOVE Darcy's princess Leia hair.
DeleteSTAR WARS O.O < --- giant " oh! * face, cause star wars IS as amazing as Harry Potter.
-al ( ya know, one time im actually gonna put my whole name by accident, and then... I don't know what will happen. Probably just keep using my nickname.)
I definitly agree that you are one of the better sim writers I have found. (I'm not sure the term sim writer is official, but whatever) Your work is really amazing.
ReplyDeleteIt hasn't been an issue before, but I was a little confused at the beginning. The description of what was happening with the characters was good, but I got a little confused when Daniel started explaining his life. I think this could be fixed if you split your sentences more often. This is just a suggestion.
Also I was wondering if you changed Vala's outfit to match her innocence. Like if she's is wearing whiter clothes she is more vulnerable?
Also, do you expect the chapters to be coming out more weekly now, versus every 2 to 3 days? Just wondering.
I can't wait for more!
Fawnester
Thanks for your input. I'll definitely be keeping that in mind from now on. I think I made this mistake because I see how large other people's paragraphs are, which makes me feel really bad when I look at my own. But it it causes confusion, then that idea will be scrapped.
DeleteWow, that's a coincidence... Her outfit choice is because she's running away from the people she worked for, and she was stripped down to the bare essentials. That, and she worked on someone's farm to get some money to get a cab to Bridgeport.
Um... I can't really confirm that, though it looks that way. I don't get the opportunity to play sims that often because I'm studying, but there are days that I'm not writing anything, so there may be a chance that I can get it out sooner, but that's wishful thinking on my part, seeing as I'm currently addicted to playing another game (it's freaking hard O.o).
I guess I'd have to confirm that they'll be out weekly. :/
Ahhhh that's a Harry Potter quote! Not exactly, but kinda :D
ReplyDeleteI think you're writing is great and I know you want feedback, but I siriusly can't find anything wrong with it. Sorry, that wasn't helpful, but I think you're writing is amazing :D
Daniel and Vala <3 Vala is so pretty :3
~Izzi
.....I spelled "your" wrong....twice.... *facedesk*
DeleteOoh, really? I've never even read the books (though I'm an avid fan, still, because of the movies...just need to find the time to read the books). O.o
DeleteYou think correctly. >.< I'm literally begging someone to find mistakes in my writing. I'm a perfectionist when it comes to certain things, like how things have to be stationed on a desk, and that perfectionism has started making its way to my writing. But thanks, anyhow. That really means the world to me. *blushes*
Hehe, I know! They're real cute together. Vala's definitely the prettiest sim I've ever created in CAS. :D
That's okay, we all make mistakes! Thanks again, Izzi. :D
Just curious, but I'm wondering what you think some of your faults are in writing?
ReplyDeleteWhen I start writing a post, I have so much inspiration and can write a lot (like in this post), but towards the end, I kind of start rushing through it just to get the post published, instead of saving and exiting, and continuing later. That has been a bother all my life, and it's really hard to get past that habit.
DeleteThis isn't too much of an issue on this blog, but definitely an issue with my English essays. I'm not really a fan of using too many metaphors. I also have a problem with creating creative similes.
Another one would be, and this is my biggest problem ever, my writing when it comes to...shall we say..."adult scenes"? I can imagine what I have to write, and I try to talk myself into doing it, but I never have the courage. It's just my personality. I'm really against those things at my current age. Maybe when I'm older I'll be able to write in a more mature manner, without going against all my values.
There are many MANY more, but I'm a wee bit lazy right now, and I have to go to bed.
~♥~
Destiny, this was a great post! I didn't expect Vala to come back but she did, of course. Now I really feel bad for her and I wonder what she needs help with... she looked pretty beat up, poor girl.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Izzi, I don't really see anything bad about your writing. As always, it's amazingly detailed and wonderful to read! I hardly ever see mistakes in your writing which is awesome. And I'm not that good at grammar but yours is nearly perfect. I feel like I always throw random commas everywhere and I can never keep consistent with the punctuation in dialog. So if you ask me, I don't think you need to improve on anything and you should keep up the fantastic work! ^_^
~Calista Smith
Thank you, dearie! All will be revealed soon...I hope. Unfortunately, I'm swamped with work. >.<
DeleteThanks for your opinion, as well. <3