Generation 3, Chapter 11: Flames to dust, lovers to friends

"That's just ridiculous...," muttering at the image on the screen, my hand reached out to find the remote lying on the floor, jamming the power button. "Not everyone gets married and live happily ever after. Romance stories are all so predictable and unrealistic."


There was a reason for my bad mood. Not only was I incredibly bored, living by myself and being on leave from work, but I had experienced something that had been predicted.


Jaylynn had told me that if my feelings for Liam were real, they would last forever, and never flame out.


But it did flame out.


It lasted all but a week. Liam and I went on dates, had some more fun in the bedroom, the works. After four days of being together, it started to feel wrong.  I was slowly starting to become disgusted by everything that he is, but also disgusted by what I had done. It was bearable for another three days, but after that, I started avoiding Liam. Whether or not he noticed, I didn't really care at that point. 


I was back to where I started fifteen years ago: I had no one to love, and no one would probably love me. I wasn't sure about my feelings toward anyone, even Richard.

So where I had thought that the amnesia was a good thing, it certainly wasn't.


The proof for that argument increased when I fell ill. 


The feeling was hauntingly familiar. The way I slept for ten hours, but still felt tired. The way my stomach sometimes turned, and how I couldn't keep food down at times.


It screamed "you're pregnant!".


I couldn't believe it.

There was no way in hell that it could be Liam's. Not enough time had passed for that.


The only logical thought was that it had to be Richard's.


"I'm going to kill that bastard when I get my hands on him." Ignoring the sickening feeling in my stomach, I grabbed my house keys from the coffee table and set out at a hastened speed to find my old house.

If only I had the sense of bringing along my phone that had GPS. Being unfamiliar with the town's layout, I struggled to find my way to his house. But somehow, I managed it. Of course, an entire hour had passed, and my feet hurt like hell.


With my feet planted like trees on the front porch, I waited for Ric to open the door. The rat bastard noticed my approach even before I had the sense to knock.


"Oh, hey there, Amelia... Uh, you kinda came at a bad time. We're in the middle of-"


"How dare you just stand there and act like you know nothing?" I interrupted him before he could finish explaining. Whatever he wanted to say, it was probably not as important as the news I had was about to deliver. "You're such a insensitive...such a...ugh. You're so bad I can't even find the words to describe you!"


Truth be told, I was only stalling, trying to figure out the right way to deliver the news. I hadn't planned much on my insults, resulting in a poor argument coming from my side.

"Wait, hold the phone!" he called out, theatrically raising an eyebrow. He probably thought I was insane. "Care to explain this sudden outburst?"


"After I woke, you didn't have the nerve to tell me that I might be pregnant? You don't think that would be a shock to anyone, especially when they have no recollection of their actions of the past?" 


"Oh...," was all he managed.


"Oh, indeed! So there I am, sitting on my ass in the living room, watching this stupid rerun of some stupid romantic crap they show on TV, and when I finally got up because I was fed up for it, I had this weird feeling that was...wait for it...oddly familiar. Most likely because I've been through it before. Twice!"


He stood stunned for a minute, his eyes unfocused. Waving my hand in front of his (quite attractive) face proved unsuccessful.


"Oh, please don't zone out on me now. You're not getting out of this so easily, mister Jackson."


"Come inside," he ordered, urging me to follow him, "now."

Without another word to contradict his request, I followed, immediately heading for the area that I remembered was the living room. Only, it wasn't the same anymore.


It was empty.


"What...happened?" I looked to him for answers.


"I was going to explain before I was so rudely interrupted at the door...," he sighed. "We're in the process of moving, Amelia. I'm thinking of going to Sunset Valley or Appaloosa Plains. Somewhere that's peaceful."


"Why?" I couldn't help but frown. "If this is because of Darcy coming to visit me, you have no right to keep her away from me!"


"It's not that," he shook his head. "I can't stay here anymore. Not with...with you here, constantly reminding me of my own past life that only lives on in my memories. And anyways, you wanted no more reminders of your past life, so I'm just granting your wish."


"I didn't mean you had to go to such drastic measures...," I grumbled, before realizing he had been avoiding my question. "So, why did you want me inside? Are you going to explain? Did I say anything about this before I lapsed into a coma?"


"You did say something. In our room...your old room, I guess, there has got to be a pregnancy test thingy lying around in your cupboard. I'll leave you alone so you can take the test. Call me when you're done, and we'll wait together."


After a quick nod of recognition to me, he quickly left for the kitchen, leaving me to find my way to the bedroom. 

I didn't wait long to call for him as I was waiting for the results. My nerves were getting the best of me, and I wanted someone around that could share that feeling with me. Selfish, indeed, but I couldn't help myself.


"Does it usually take this long?" I muttered, pacing around the room. Richard, on the other hand, calmly took a seat on the bed, staring at his reflection in the mirror.


"I don't have a clue. I wasn't around the last time you took the test."


"Huh... Makes me wonder where you were," I sniffled. "You said that I gave a hint to the fact that I was pregnant before my little coma?"


"Right... You did. A day before you lapsed into your two-month-coma, you came to me with the news that you kept feeling ill. We didn't suspect that you might be pregnant right away. All along, your family lived with the assumption that the anti-aging caused sterility within women. You were planning on going to the doctor the next day, but of course...you never got to do that."


"Seems we're gonna find out right now, at least," taking a deep breath, I inched closer to view the results.

It was negative.


So I wasn't pregnant.


Though I had expected to feel relief, all I felt was sadness, and shock. So shocked I stopped breathing for a few seconds.


For some reason, a small part of me was hoping that I was pregnant. 


It didn't make sense. I despised Richard. Why was I feeling so strongly over the fact that I wasn't carrying his child?


The explanation of it came rather quickly, as old repressed feeling popped up, and quick flashes of memories passed before my eyes.

"Oh God...," the first few tear drops started to find their way over my cheeks. "Why did it have to happen?"


"Amelia?" Ric's worried voice was close to my face. I could feel his hands hesitating over mine.


"I...I had a miscarriage before, didn't I? After Daniel's birth? After that the doctor said that we didn't have a good chance of conceiving another child... It's almost the same as what's going on right now."


"How did you... You remember?" he was obviously shocked.


"No, definitely not. But...the feelings came back, and images. But they were so blurry, it hardly makes sense."

"Focus on the parts that did make sense, Lia," he finally wrapped his arms around me, trying to comfort me. I found it strange how he didn't care that my tears were staining his fleece jacket.


"O-okay...," I nodded quickly.


"Alright. Process them slowly. Focus on every detail that stands out. What do you see?"


"I see...well, recognize...you," I almost took a step backwards to look at his face. "You were there, hugging me, telling me everything would be okay."


"Yes, that's right. Just like how I'm here now, hugging you. And though I wish everything would be okay, I can't promise it. But I can promise you, Amelia, is that I'll always be here to support you."


Things just weren't right. I was playing around with Richard's feelings, even though I didn't feel much for him in return. I was messing with him, and I was messing with Liam. Worse yet, I had committed a deed that I couldn't take back, and if he were to find out about it, it would destroy him.


It was strange how I actually did care whether or not he was happy.


"Amelia...," Richard's lips were close to my ear. "I'm going to let go of you now, because if I hold on to you any longer, I won't be able to let go of you. If you ever decide to come back to me, it should be a free decision, not because I forced you, or begged you. It's all up to you."


Slowly, he unwound his arms, moving away from me. I could see it in his eyes: It was a decision that he didn't want to make, but he did so, anyways.


Without a goodbye, I stormed out of the room, choosing to go through the nearest exit of the house, which ended up being the backdoor.

I was still trapped, with a fence blocking any way of an easy escape.

However, I wasn't alone in this poorly constructed prison. Daniel was sitting on a couch all by himself. When he saw me approaching, his face lit up with a smile. I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt at the sight of it. I must have hurt him so much, having abandoned all my duties as his mother.


"Uh, hi there," an awkward chuckle escaped through my lips.


"Hello," the smile remained. "You seem quite uncomfortable. Any way I can help?"


"Yeah. Point me in a direction that serves as a way out of this place."


"Behind you, to the left. There's a gate there. It really blends in with the fence, so you're gonna have to look closely."

"Thanks!" I waved goodbye and turned towards the gate, but i couldn't bring myself to go any further. My son was sitting there, and I was pretty much ignoring him, as if he were a stranger that I had just asked for directions. Why was I such an awful human being?

"You know what? Screw running away from this place...," turning around to face him, I walked towards him. "Mind if I sit here?"


"Not at all," he beckoned. "Feel free."

It became extremely awkward, sitting there next to him, not knowing what to say. My encounter with Darcy had been exactly the same, but I had figured out what to say in the end. Here, I wasn't so sure I would manage a conversation. Daniel was a hard person to read. Was he like his father, or like me?


"I think you made the right decision," he finally started talking, "taking time off and figuring out what you want."


"Seriously?" I was taken aback. "You didn't think I was being overly selfish?"


"Of course not. We're all allowed to be a bit selfish one in awhile. We just have to control ourselves and not be selfish all the time. Judging from your past, you haven't been selfish much. You deserve to freak out and do what you want for once in your life. All along, you kept yourself in check, trying to be the perfect role model. Sometime or another, that image is gonna crack."


I was silent for a long time. "You're definitely your father's kid. So wise, so...moral."


He chuckled in response. "Actually, no. I got those from you. You taught me a lot about the world. It's a cruel place, but you made me see the positive side of things, the positive side of humans. The only thing I got from dad was a manners and a case of weakened eyesight."

"You make me sound like a saint, Daniel," I couldn't help but blush. "I wish I could still be that person for you and Darcy, but... I can't. I can't live up to your expectations anymore."


"That's where you're wrong," he argued, shaking his head. "You still are. You might have changed a bit, but you're still here for us in a way. You listened to Darcy and her problems. That's more than the rest of us ever did."


"No. I've...made a mistake. A big mistake," the image of Liam in my head made me shudder. "I can't turn back from that, no matter how much I wished to."


"I'm sure it's not that bad that you'd end up running away from it. You taught me that the right way to win a fight is to deny the battle."

"You're right," an idea sparked inside of me, and my objective was clear. "I have to get away from here, from everyone that I hurt. It's the only logical solution."


"Wait a minute!" he got up from his seat. "I didn't say that you have to do that when you have problems. More like when you had to face people."


"No, I know you didn't say it out loud, but it got me thinking... Damn, Daniel, you must have inherited my sharp mind. You're a genius."

"No, I'm an idiot!" he called after me as I started running for the gate. "Where are you going?!"


"Getting the hell away from here! Tell your father that you guys need to stay here, and that I'll move away!" I reached the gate, my hands shaking as I tried to unlock it. I had to disappear, and fast. I didn't want to explain to Liam that I made a mistake, and I didn't want to face Richard with the mistake I had made.


I was such a coward, trying to run away from things, but at that point, all that stood out in me was self-preservation.


"Where would you go?" Daniel tried getting answers out of me one last time.


My hands stopped fiddling with the lock, and I looked up and stared him in the eyes. I knew where I would go, but it wasn't exactly going to be paradise. "To my parents' house."